Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
