I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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