and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
