benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
