i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
