I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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