Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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