Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
