He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize