she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
