I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
