When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
