i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
