sarcasm needs its own font
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
