so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
