I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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