Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
