escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
