if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i think i just lost a toe
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
