u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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