You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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