yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
