i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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