Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can text with my tongue
someone owes me an orgasm
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
