me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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