he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
