I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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