That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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