she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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