If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
