there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His nipple licking is glorious
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