All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
