I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Panties = found
Randomize
