we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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