Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
