i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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