I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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