So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize