Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
