Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
