Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
