return my video game
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
