You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
