WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
