My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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