I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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