he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
