they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
