You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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