ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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