Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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