She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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