I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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