We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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