Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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