I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize