I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
