He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
