guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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