remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize