Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You should frame my arrest warrant.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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