I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
