Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
